It will be 8 weeks on Thursday since the PAO on my right hip. I definitely notice an improvement, especially when I wake up in the morning. For the first 6-8 weeks, for both of my PAOs, every morning I would wake up feeling like I had been hit by a truck. That feeling has begun to subside, which is a great sign.
Not so great is the relentless pain in my back, to the right of the base of my tailbone. This pain has stayed with me for years now, and has always been lumped in with the myriad of other pains and problems with my dysplastic right hip. I described my painful experience with the lower back (lumbar spine) area in previous posts, how it related to my thigh pain and that the professional guess was that my sacrum was out of whack. Physical therapy with an awesome therapist (Chad Neubrand in San Diego; he is amazing) helped after only a few sessions with him. I showed significant improvement in my movement ( able to bend the knee again ) and reduced pain in my lumbar spine area.
As the lumbar spine, thigh and hip pain started to subside significantly, the radiating pain at the base of my tailbone became more apparent. It became clear that this pain was not related to the other parts that I have been so drastically working to fix. I wouldn't say that the tailbone pain was my BIGGEST complaint in the beginning, but it was a large part of what afflicted me for so long. The first doctor I went to for help was because I thought I had bruised my tailbone during a fall at the circus. That small concern turned into a giant two year journey of three hip surgeries, many months of slow, difficult recovery, job loss, home loss, financial debt and distress, and a loud wake up call about my lifestyle and life goals. Now, after all that, it comes back to this little bitch of a tailbone that refuses to chill out.
So today, I went to the doctor to get to the bottom of it. First off, my pelvis is healing at a slower rate than he would prefer, and he is concerned about my nutrition. (This happened for my last PAO as well, and it may have to do with my body's natural healing schedule). I haven't been very diligent about getting enough to eat, partly because it is extremely difficult to cook and clean while on crutches, and partly because I have been in so much pain and slightly depressed. Anyway, I will work much harder to make sure I am getting all the nutrients I need.
Second, the doctor now understands more the intensity of the pain at my tailbone, how it is overshadowing the greatness of the hip surgery he did, and inhibiting me from moving forward boldly in my recovery. He suggested cortisone and steroid shots straight into the sacroiliac joint, where it is believed the pain is located. I of course agreed, since I trust everything Dr. Santore says, and I have tried just about EVERYTHING else to relieve my pain. The injections are funny; for the first day, you feel great, and then the pain comes back for about 5 days, and then the pain is supposed to go away again.
The injections are a pain masking tool that sometimes work forever, and sometimes not. It is a total crapshoot, which is frustrating, but my only option at this stage. The idea is that with a temporary relief of the pain, I can push forward in my recovery from the PAO. Once I am healed and walking normally again, the twisted sacrum and sacroiliac joint pain will resolve itself based on my improved balance and strength.
I am trying really hard to stay positive, keep the faith and project images of a pain free, healthy future for myself. But I will admit here that those things have been more challenging to overcome than the physical pain and trauma itself. Sometimes I think I may not ever get better. Every challenge I have overcome has been followed immediately by another, and it just wears me down. What if I go through all of this and the pain still doesn't go away? The psychological stress has taken it's toll on me, and I want so badly to beat it. I don't play video games, but I imagine that the frustration of just not knowing how to kill the biggest, badest monster at the end of the game would be similar to how I feel. I have tried every angle, every trick, every tool and weapon I can find, and I still can't kill the bloody bastard. The only difference is that I can't walk away from the challenge. The obstacle lives inside me, in my body and my mind, every second of the day, and clouds everything else around me.
I hope this cortisone shot will be the answer to my prayers, and that my recovery will breeze on. Two months down, four more to go.
